1/30/13

Beauty in the Messes: A Glimpse at My Childhood

My childhood was full of laughs, vacations, hard times, good times, and many other great things, but there was that one part that I tucked away.  It was deeply, terribly, tucked away.


Fists tightly clenched - I did not want to write this, but I knew in my heart it could help someone, so here is a glimpse at a short, but painful moment in my past.  

He touched me, and that was unacceptable.  A family friend who was trusted and loved, broke that trust.   

In the moment, I felt I was the wrong one, but I now know it was not my fault.  I was a child, a mere teenager, and no one deserves to be touched inappropriately.  Sickening. Wrong.  

As I grew older, shame and guilt set into my heart.  What would people think? Would they judge me? What would they say?  These were questions that went through my mind.  I didn't tell my parents; I was too scared to share. 

That was the enemy of my soul presenting those thoughts.  Although nothing went further than touching, it still messed with my mind for a VERY long time. I don't even remember it all because I pushed it out of my mind for so long so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

Even though I may have tears as I write this article, I know I am helping someone.  You are not alone.  If that is something similar to what is happening to you, speak to someone.  Now. Please.  If it happened in your past, then it is still good to share with someone you can trust.  Remember to ask God to help you forgive "that" person.  It is really to set you free, as well.

Know that you are forgiven, and God loves you.  You are not dirty.  You are not an embarrassment.  You do not need to carry shame.  He wipes it all away.  You are beautiful, because God calls you beautiful.  He chose YOU.  You have a calling, do not let this hold you back from what the Lord has for you.  We step forward together!

Beauty. Freedom. Forgiveness. Love....Hope for the brokenhearted. 

He makes beauty from the ashes!  I will sing of His love for me, and you, forever!

Thank you, Sarah Mae, for inspiring me to tell my story, or at least bits and pieces as I am comfortable to do so.  Piece by piece, he has made me new.


Hebrews 12:2 Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  

Psalm 3:3 But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.


Do you have a favorite verse that encourages you when the enemy tries to bring shame against you?




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